Went on Facebook today and saw all these first day of school photos for my friend’s kids. It made me feel a bit sad. So many of my friend’s are married and have kids. Then there’s me still single….wondering if I’ll ever get married or get to be a mom.
I try my best to keep busy and not myself dwell on things but it still hits me once in a while and then the tears start to fall. I no longer allow myself to stay down for long anymore more though gotta climb back up!
Photo Credit Mike Wilson
In the world we live, as we get older we begin our search for a partner. Someone to share our hopes and dreams. Someone who will be there through life’s ups and downs.
When you are dealing with social anxiety and depression, it’s hard to let anyone in because you feel they just won’t understand or take the time to get to know you.
I recently decided to put myself out there by setting up a profile on a Muslim matchmaking site. I did get some matches and talked to a few of them. Sometimes someone will say something that just right away offends you. For me, it’s usually a jab at the fact that I work in the retail industry. Every industry has positives and negatives. Currently, I like where I work and I have co-workers who have been understanding and supportive when I’ve struggled with my anxiety.
I was asked by a guy I was talking to “are you going to work retail all your life? Do you have any goals or do you just want to get married?” I was a little offended by this. Of course, I have goals just like everyone else. If you actually take the time to get to know me, I’ll share how I like working with people and would eventually like to work on the ground in guest services for a major airline. I’m hoping that working for an airline will make it easier to explore new places and do some nature and travel photography. I’d also like to share my mental health story so that I can help others struggling with depression or anxiety, and let them know that they are not alone.
Photo Credit Upsplash
Those moments when feel alone and a bit scared you don’t want to talk to anyone but you need to talk to someone and let go of the hurt your feeling.
There have been Birthdays where I just didn’t feel happy. I’d start thinking about how the life of a person my age should be and I would feel depressed about being single and not having a career that was respected.
Last year my counsellor told that I should enjoy my birthday cause it’s “My Day”. This year I kept busy with work during the week . The day before my birthday I had hair cut and did a bit of shopping. On my birthday I went out to a place called The Forks with my family and then went out for dinner. It was a pretty good birthday 🙂
Today was hard for me but I will get through this!